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Sobre la sobriedad de los Astrónomos

5 min read

Anoche mientras buscaba el "Jóven Arquímides" de Huxley para leerselo a una amiga, reencontré esta 'canción ' que fué compuesta por los miembros de la primera Mathematical Society en Inglaterra, para lisonjear a un tal Mr. Fletcher quién los había defendido ante tribunal público en una demanda que tenían por "...'dar conferencias públicas sobre temas filosóficos' (en realidad por pedir dinero a la entrada de un acto público sin tener el debido permiso)" que me pareció muy graciosa, espero que les divierta ;)

The Astronomer's Drinking Song

Whoe'er would search the starry sky,
      Its secrets to divine, sir,
Should take his glass -In mean, should try
      A glass or two of wine, sir!
True virtue lies in golden mean,
      And man must wet his clay, sir;
Join thes two maxims, and'tis seen
      He should drink his bottle a day, sir!

Old Archimides, reverende sage!
      By trump of fame renowned, sir,
Deep problems colved in every page,
      And the sphere's curved surface foud, sir:
Himself he would have far outshone,
      And borne a wider sway, sir,
Had he our modern secret known,
      And drank a bottle a day, sir!

When Ptolemy, now long ago,
      Believed the earth stood still, sir,
He nevere would have blundered so,
      Had he but drunk his fill, sir:
He' then have felt it circulate,
      And would have learnt to say, sir,
The true way to investigate
      Is to drink your bottle a day, sir!

Copernicus, that learned wight,
      The glory of his nation,
With draughts of wine refresed his sight,
      And saw the earths's rotation;
Each planet then is orb under way, sir;
      The moon got under way, sir;
Thes truths from nature the imbibed
      For he drank his bottle a day, sir!

The noble Tycho placed the stars,
      Each in its due location;
He lost his nose by spite of Mars,
      But that was no privation:
Had he but lost his mouth, I grant
      He would have feld dismay, sir,
Bless you! he knew what he should want
      To drink this bottle a day, sir!

Cold water makes no lucky hits;
      On mysteries the head runs:
Small drink let Kepler time his wits
      On the regular polyhedrons:
He look to wine, and it changed the chime,
      His genius swept away, sir,
Through area varying as the time
      At the rate of a bottle a day, sir!

Poor Galilleo, forced to rat
      Before the Inquisition,
E pur si muove was the pat
      He gave them in addition:
He meant, whate'er you think you prove,
      The earth must go its way, sirs;
Spite of your teeth I'll make it move,
      For I'll drink my bottle a day, sirs!

Great Newton, who was never beat
      Whatever fools may think, sir;
Though sometimes he forgot to eat,
      He never forgot to drink, sir:
Descartes took nought but lemonade,
      To conquer him was play, sir;
The first advance that Newton made
      Was to drink his bottle a day, sir!

D'Alembert, Euler, and Clairaut,
      Though they increased our store, sir,
Much further had been seen to go
      Had they tippled a little more, sir!
Lagrange gets mellow with Laplace,
      And both are wont to say, sir,
The philosophe who's not an ass
      Will drink his bottle a day, sir!

Astronomers! What can avail
      Those who calumniate us;
Experiment can never fail
      With such an apparatus:
Let him who'd have his merits known
      Remember what I say, sir;
Fair science shines on him alone
      Who drinks his bottle a day, sir!

How light we reck of those who mock
      By this we'll make to appear, sir,
We'll dine by the sidereal clock
      For one more bottle a year, sir:
But choose which pendulum you, will,
      You'll never make your way, sir,
Unless you drink -and drink your fill-,
      At least a bottle a day, sir!

Ahora que lo recuerdo esto se parece un poco a los FU, no? Deberian ellos hacer su canción The Freak's Drinking Song